Double-Edged Sword

Today's post is entitled "Double-Edged Sword" for a reason - this post is meant for Calgary motorists AND pedestrians...as both parties are guilty of asshattery when it comes to the forthcoming topic of vehicular stupidity.

This lovely little black & white sign to my left is pretty much a universal traffic signal.  In Calgary, they look just like this, but perhaps you've lived somewhere else, and you might be used to the yellow version seen below. 

If you don't know what these signs are, I fucking hate you, regardless of whether or not you drive a vehicle.  Because if you walk, and you don't know what these signs are, your level of dipshittery is equal-to or greater-than that of a motorist.

So, lets raise the cloth from this mystery for these morons out there, and let them know that these signs indicate that there is a pedestrian crossing (more commonly known as a crosswalk) at that particular intersection.  This is where people taking the heel-toe express have the right-of-way to cross the street.

So I'm going to split this rant into two parts...one for the motorists, and one for pedestrians.

MOTORISTS:

DO NOT STOP for pedestrians trying to scoot across the road anywhere but one of these intersections.  We are driving one ton steel boxes...we own the road!  Don't let some lame-ass pedestrian come into our house and tell us how to run things.  But, more importantly, I DON'T WANT TO REAR-END YOU!!  I cannot count how many times I've screamed out loud at some idiot motorist in this city that has slammed on the brakes and stopped in the middle of the street to allow some retard to cross the road where they have no business doing so.  You're putting yourselves in danger, not to mention those driving around you AND the pedestrians. 

PEDESTRIANS:

I'm pretty sure that we learned the basic rules of pedestrianism in kindergarten (or shortly thereafter): 

1. Look both ways before crossing the street
2. Don't run out into the street
3. ALWAYS CROSS AT A CROSSWALK! 

Did we stop teaching people these lessons?  Is the school system too engaged with trying to make kids less fat that they have discarded these basic lessons?  Why do you need to endanger us motorists by crossing at some random point in the road.  It's not like crosswalks are only every couple of kilometres - chances are, there's a crosswalk only a block or two away.

I'd go on about how I feel towards right of way, and the laws of pedestrians vs motorists...but that's another post altogether.

The Inaugural Post!

The inaugural post of "Dear Calgary Drivers".  What a momentous occasion!  So let's kick things off right with one of my favourite Calgary traffic gripes - the "lane added" yield sign (see: left). 

For starters, let's clear up one thing.  This is NOT a yellow version of the Atari logo (see: below-right), so quit playing goddamn games on the road.  This sign means that you do not have to slam on your brakes and narrowly avoid getting rear ended because you think you have to yield.  You can KEEP DRIVING...nobody's going to hit your precious little vehicle.  You're probably so astronomically stupid that if you DID get rear-ended, you'd think it isn't your fault.

What boggles my mind the most is that this sign is so self explanatory - how could you not understand it?  That arrow on the right?  Yeah, that's you big guy!  And the left arrow?  That's the big, bad scary OTHER guy.  Notice that the arrows don't collide into a fiery ball of vehcular death - they simply carry on their merry little way, IN THEIR OWN LANES!!!

The next time I almost rear-end some dipshit that stops at one of these intersections/on-ramps, I'm going to drag them out of their vehicle, glue them to the pavement right where they think the cars are going to collide, just to prove the point.